June 2020 Issue
On May 25th, I sat on my porch with my latest draft for the month’s Letter from the Editor. A reflective piece revolving around the concept of processing emotions and acceptance, it described how, even as the pandemic epicenter, New York City characteristically sped through the five stages of grief in less than three months.
Insert that light-hearted take on the classic Homer Simpson stages of grief clip, replaced with New Yawker-ese reactions:
Denial –“ Get outta here!”
Anger – “You gotta be kiddin’ me”?
Fear – “Holy 💩”
Bargaining – “Psst… Come ova here...”
Acceptance – “Fuggedaboutit!”
Writing that day, I explained how I refuse to use the term “new normal” and instead encourage “rock a new routine” as you reach acceptance. For some, this means puzzles, Peloton, or playing school with their kids, while for others, it’s doubling down on P.R. or pivoting business models. My message was simply that in order to move forward productively, you must give yourself some grace, and more importantly, resist the urge to silently judge colleagues, friends, and neighbors on their life situations and how they cope. We all need to process at our own pace.
With the short holiday week, time was limited, and the draft needed to be "Editor's Edge-ed,” so I took my own advice, gave myself some grace, and decided to hold the Letter till June. What difference would a week make? It turns out a week can make a world of difference…
On that same, May 25th day, I was unaware that a bird watcher in Central Park was being threatened and that a man in Minneapolis couldn’t breathe for 8 minutes and 46 seconds, leading to a horrific death that left us all breathless.
As the news unfolded the next few days, I felt myself embark on a new cycle of grief. Denial – did that really happen? Anger – who the 🤬 could commit such acts?! Unlike the previous cycle of grief, we cannot isolate ourselves to rotate towards acceptance. The systemic racism strewn throughout our country is unacceptable. This must be a continuous effort in understanding and unity because Black Lives Matter.
Colleagues, friends, and neighbors; we must continue to do the hard work to pop our insular bubbles and break our algorithms to become exclusively inclusive.
Whether:
reading to children about white privilege
examining tokenism in the media world and wedding industry
educating yourself on non vs. anti-racist behavior
supporting black owned businesses
I urge not to silently judge because we all need to process at our own pace and productively move forward together.
PS – In times of grief I turn to art to inform and inspire. Kara Walker, Lorna Simpson, Kerry James Marshall and Kehinde Wiley are just a few Black artists I recommend to research.
